god – St. Gregory the Illuminator Armenian Church

We Don’t Want You

Daily Readings: Zech. 2:10-13; 2 Corinth. 6:16-7:1; Lk. 1:39-56
Ընթերցուածքներ` Զաք. Բ 10-13; Բ Կորնց. Զ 16- Է 1; Ղուկ. Ա 39-56

In the Name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, Amen.

Have you heard the terms “cradle born” or “convert”? Cradle born means that from our birth we were raised in the Church, whereas convert means in life we later chose to become a member of the Church. Fr. John Fenton, who is an Orthodox priest at St. Michael’s Church in Whittier, CA during an interview shared a story from his seminary years, who before he became Orthodox, was a Lutheran, studying in Lutheran seminary when for one summer he attended an intensive class at the Orthodox seminary of St. Vladimir. While on campus, a clergymen appeared who everyone seemed to admire as it was the renowned Metropolitan Bishop Kallistos Ware. Students approached asking for the Bishop’s blessing and likewise, John, who was not yet a Orthodox, but who knew about Bishop Ware, because he had read many of his books, approached and introduced himself. The Bishop asked him, “who are you?” Clearly, John stood out. John said he was a Lutheran seminarian but had been thinking of converting to the Orthodox Church. Surprisingly, the Bishop asked him, “why would you do that?” John responded by saying how in Lutheranism, and many protestant denominations, they have many-many problems. The Bishop gave John a reality check. He said, “we don’t want you. When you are able to be Orthodox and still embrace the good in Lutheranism, we will accept you. But if you’re just running away from Lutheranism, we don’t want you”.

Imagine if you told the priest you wanted to come to Church and he says we don’t want you. We would feel hurt; we would be confused. Especially as we are constantly worried about how empty our Churches have become. Yet, the Bishop’s words are very powerful to reflect upon. What brings us to Church? Why are we here? Do we like the priest? Because our last name ends with -ian or -yan? Perhaps we are “cradle born” – our parents brought us from the beginning. Perhaps we are ABC – “Armenian By Choice”, or perhaps we married into an Armenian family and well, the food is better here than in some of the other Churches? Or are we running away from something? Are we escaping some darkness and think that maybe the Church will accept me for who I am? My dears, Christianity is not about escapism, it isn’t about ignoring our past or running away from darkness. It isn’t about the priest or the choir and it certainly is not about our last names or the family we belong to.

Scripture is full of the opposite. We are called to not run away but to stand before the Cross, recognizing that God is our light to help in the darkness. St. Paul reminds us in Ephesians 3:17, “So that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, [are] being rooted and established in love…” In other words, my dears the Church, Christianity is not about someone who is simply running away from their past. And belonging to our a certain family or cultural does not make us an Christian. Being a Christian, to come to Church is about embracing our Cross and running towards the love of God. It is about being part of God’s family, in Communion with Him, as adopted co-heirs as St. Paul teaches us through Holy Baptism.

Last week we celebrated the Feast of St. Mary and her Assumption. St. Mary the Mother of God is beloved not because she was superhuman but because Christ dwelled in her womb and in her humility, she gave life to God in the Flesh. As the hymns proclaim, “Mother of God, luminous tabernacle of the unbounded Sun of life, Who became the Dawn of the Sun of righteousness, And who shined light upon us who sat in darkness, We magnify you always.” It is likewise the same with us my dears. She is the Mother of God because she gave physical birth to Jesus Christ; the fruit of her faithfulness brought salvation into this world; Light to those in darkness. And when we live responding to the love of God, through us God, our faithfulness proclaims that same salvation in the name of Christ Jesus in this world; Light in darkness. When we turn from the world not out of hatred or disapproval of it but turn because we recognize the love of God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, then do we truly begin the process of becoming a Christian – Christlike.

Only then can we embrace the words of St. Paul in Corinthians “For you are the temple of the living God.” Yet, too many of us, rather than become temples of the living God, we would prefer to become museums hoping our doors never open. Rooms full of past scars, skeletons we would rather ignore. The world tells us we are worthless because we have brokenness and so we create filtered facades on social media about a life worth putting on display. Yet, our wounds remain blistering and unhealed. We look at the world and say look how dark it is; look at our leaders, look at the broken families. We become hopeless and fall into despair. We try to fight or run away, and yet, nothing seems to get better. Rather than the light of God shining in us and through us, we try to ignore and pretend that somewhere else things are are better. Another Church, another family, another community, and so forth. Yet, being a Christian is not about us finding something better. It is about responding to the reality that we are found by God and through Christ Jesus, we are renewed, our wounds are healed and by the power of the Holy Spirit our lives echo the words of St. Mary, “My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit has rejoiced in God my Savior.”

My dears, why do we come to Church? Or perhaps why don’t we? What are we running away vs. through repentance are we running towards God? Someone once told me they don’t come to Church because they don’t need a priest, the people gossip, and they can just pray at home, read their own Bibles and have a relationship with God without all this so-called organized religion. Well as my own professor from St. Vladimir’s used to say, “if you’re against organized religion, then the Orthodox Church is the place for you. It’s been 2,000 years and we’re still unorganized.”

My dears, come but come seeking the Lord. Respond to His love by embracing the scars of our past, standing before the Cross, and in humility repenting and turning to our Lord’s mercy. That is what the word repentance ultimately means – to turn to joy, turn to God. Doing so, we will be healed of our wounds; we will be found; we will be part of His family. For the only cradle we should be born from is the cradle of our Jesus Christ in Bethlehem; the womb of St. Mary; our baptismal Fonts from which we are born again having received Christ in us. This is what true conversion is about; this is what it means to be Christian. This is what we proclaim every Divine Liturgy when we say, “Christ is in our midst”. And through us, Christ comes into the midst of this world. And when we recognize His presence, when we understand that to carry our Cross is not about ignoring the world but rather being a witness to that world about the love of God, then our paths will be illuminated. St. Ephraim the Syrian proclaims, “Do not lose heart, for there is hope in Christ” That hope is what will renew our heart and mind by the power of the Holy Spirit. And as the Psalmist and the Gospel of St. John proclaims – no darkness will overcome us. And if Christ is why we are here, we are glad you came. Amen.

“I don’t know…I want to Learn”

Daily Readings: Is. 7:10-16; Gal. 3:29-4:7; Lk. 2:1-7
Ընթերցուածքներ` Եսայ. Է 10-16; Գաղ. Գ 29- Դ 7; Ղկ. Բ 1-7

In the Name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, Amen!

Within the Church, we have many symbols, images and icons which tell us a story. Initially that is why icons were so popular in Churches, because they teach, remind us of important lessons and so forth. In the same way, when we look or share pictures from our past, we need to often tell a back story, explain what is going on, so people can understand what is happening. Today as Armenian Orthodox, and yesterday all other Orthodox Churches, celebrate the Feast of the Assumption of the Holy Virgin Mary. When we look at the icon of this feast day, what do we see? When St. Mary entered dormition, the Apostles and other Christians naturally held a funeral. The story of how St. Mary passed, and her assumption by Christ which comes to us from the early Church, tells us of how angelic prayers and singing was heard around her tomb and that when her tomb was reopened, her body was no longer there but had been assumed into Heaven. That is what we see in this image. Yet, in this icon we see something strange; A man, who appears to be in pain, with both his hands cut off. Why and what is this?

According to Holy Tradition of the Church which dates all the way back to the 5^th-6^th century, a Jewish priest named Jephonias, who was hostile to Christ and His followers, attempted to disturb the procession of the Apostles carrying the Theotokos to Gethsemane. And so he tried to overturn the bier, the place St. Mary’s body lay, and at that moment the Archangel Michael appeared and struck with his sword, severing his hands. Confronted by this terrible wonder, Jephonias immediately repents and confesses his faith in Christ, and prays asking for forgiveness from St. Mary. Through the intercession of the Theotokos, his hands were miraculously restored, and he stood up and joined the procession as a believer. And so, in this scene, in this icon of St. Mary what can we learn? What does this picture teach us? And more importantly, apart from a story, what can we learn to take with us in our walk of faith?

A couple of days ago while having coffee, I had an interesting conversation with a man who had grown up in the Evangelical Church but had since become an atheist. He remarked that one of the issues he had was that when he had spoken to pastors in the past asking questions, every answer they gave was baseless or far-fetched; they seemed to want to answer even if it made no sense. It had annoyed him that they just couldn’t say, “I don’t know.” And this is true for many of us. We all want to have the answers; and we want to be right. We want our opinions to matter and for us to be heard. Yet, one of the greatest virtues and qualities that we learn from Holy Scriptures is humility. The recognition to say, “I don’t know.” We don’t have all the answers, yet, because of pridefulness, arrogance and ego, we insist on our way, we think we have the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth and while our intensions may be pure, we cause hurt to ourselves and perhaps to others. We begin to become careless and hopeless.

You see this Jewish priest in the icon who did not know Christ. And rather than be humble and say, “I don’t know”, he insisted on his own way, for which he was punished. Yet, the story does not stop there because ultimately, he did repent, he did humble himself and recognize, he didn’t know and he was wrong. And this is the virtue my dears, we need not just in our day to day but especially in our faith. As Christian’s yes, we know and believe in God, the Father, Son and Holy Spirit; we know and believe that God the Father is the author of all life and creation, we know and believe that Christ Jesus, God the Son, came and died on the Cross for our sins and was resurrected on the third day; we know and believe in the Holy Spirit that breathes life into us, guiding us forever and that by faith, which we live daily we respond to all that God does.

Yes, we know and believe that Christianity in the Orthodox Church is the fullness of faith, yet, we also know and believe that we still know nothing. As Socrates says, “I know that I know nothing.” That just because we believe in God, it doesn’t make us better than those who do not. Just because we come to Church, light a candle, say a prayer, leave a donation, volunteer at soup kitchens, etc. doesn’t make us greater than the beggar in the street, or the atheist at the coffee shop. My dears, that is why St. Mary the Mother of God is so beloved. Not for external knowledge, not for stature, or some arbitrary characteristic; not because she had all the answers. Clearly she didn’t which is why in the Gospel she questions the angel. Yet, her humility, even when she wasn’t sure is why look to her. Humility in trusting God above her own abilities and limitations; Humility to remain faithful, even if she wasn’t theologically trained. Therefore, in life and even in death, St. Mary ultimately points us to this virtue of Christlike humility.

Today’s feast, therefore, and this icon is a lesson for us of humility and reverence especially when it comes to our faith. Humility to say, “I don’t know” and reverence to say, “I want to learn.” Learn to love as Christ calls us to love, even those who don’t love us back. Learn to forgive and pray for, even those who have hurt us. Learn to trust that God cares for us, lifts us out even from the grave, even when the world says we have not value, we have no voice, we have nothing to offer. Like Jephonias, we are called to repent, humble ourselves, and approach God with faith. Learn from the lives of the saints my dears, learn to read the icons, and symbols in the Church as tools that guide us to Christ. Ask questions and say, “I don’t know.”

Pray for wisdom and God our Heavenly Father will teach us, illuminate our hearts and minds to know the truth, to know His love, to know Him. And God will make us into icons for others to learn from about faith. Not with our answers but with the stories of our lives. And with humility and reverence we will approach His Holiness and be washed by His grace to live a life that brings glory to Him, with the Son and Holy Spirit, Amen.

Worldly Soot

Daily Readings: Is. 3:16-4:1; 1 Corinth. 1:25-30; Matt. 18:10-14
Ընթերցուածքներ` Եսայ. Գ 16-Դ 1; Ա Կորնց. Ա 25-30; Մատ. ԺԸ 10-14

In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, Amen!

A few months ago, a good friend of mine purchased a run-down home which he had plans to restore. I offered to help him, especially when it came to the demolishing. As we tore down dry wall and we ripped out the flooring, the more we removed we saw that there were more layers underneath the surface. In fact, this happens quite often. Over the last several years, when Holy Etchmiadzin cathedral was being renovated, and when stones and dry wall was removed, the original, much more intricate designs below the surface were revealed. Things that had been forgotten. And when this happens most of us hesitate thinking maybe there is a reason it was covered up; Maybe we need to stop and just leave things the way they are. In the 1980’s, the Vatican decided that restoration work was needed to be done on Michelangelo’s frescoes in the Sistine Chapel. The world had admired the painting for centuries yet, over time, the paintings had taken on a different character with dark, moody, and somber tones. In fact, art critics began praising the heavy shadows and the deep, melancholic hues, believing Michelangelo intended to show a world weighed down by gravity and gloom. Yet, when the restorers began working, something shocking happened. The dark shadows began to dissolve. Experts publicly begged the Vatican to stop, accusing the restorers of erasing Michelangelo’s masterpiece and destroying the depth of the art. Yet, the chief restorer, who was also a faithful Catholic knew what the critics did not. That Michaelangelo, being a Christian himself, did not paint the Church dark and gloomy. Rather, over the centuries soot from altar candles, grease, and cheap glue applied by previous generations had accumulated. When the cleaning was complete, the chapel erupted in brilliant, vibrant, almost blinding colors—pinks, greens, and bright blues. What the world thought was the destruction of art was actually its salvation.

My dears, how many of us have felt this way when it comes to our faith? We desire to be restored; we desire to grow; yet, as we begin removing what is on the surface, the things that need to be removed from our life we hesitate. We think that perhaps it is better that we leave things the way they are. What if we find something we don’t want to see from our past? And so we might stop or worry and remain blinded from the accumulated soot, gloom, and darkness that has covered our eyes from the truth of God and we think that this is who we are. Yet, my dears, our darkness, our sins, our brokenness, our hurt, our skeletons, our addictions, are not who we were created to be. They are lies, and perversions that the world has convinced us of. In the same way that the master restorer knew he had to keep removing that soot, in the same way, the architects carefully restored Holy Etchmiadzin Cathedral, and in the way expert builders will renovate a home, even when others may argue leave it, the Wisdom of God is greater than what the world says. For that St. Paul says today, “Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men.”

The world my dears tells us to either give up or conform. Why change, we will fail anyway; Why fight it, it’s easier this way; Truth is personal, ignore what others say. Yet, God our Heavenly Father reminds us that we as His children, were created for more than what we see on the surface. That while the world may say what’s the point, God says “we are the point.” That is why Christ came to die for us on the Cross, and through that Cross, God removed the stains, the gloom, the soot, the darkness that blinded us the truth – the love of God. A love that He desires to restore us, to lift us out of our darkness. That is why as the Gospel teaches us today, the shepherd will go out looking for his 1 lost sheep out of the 99. The world says let it be; cut your losses; why change anything. That is the world’s wisdom.

Yet, God’s foolishness is greater than the wisdom of the world. That is why the Cross my dears is foolishness, why God is foolish, why we are foolish. Yet, St. John Chrysostom adds, “For the Cross is a sign of such great power that it did not merely convince men when present, but it even drew them when it was thought to be a symbol of weakness… God did not catch the wise by a grand display of wisdom, but by what seemed to be foolishness.” In other words, by choosing the Cross, God leveled pride, and arrogance, and made His salvation accessible to all through simple, faith, through what other would deem foolish.

My dears, if we have a desire to change, if we want to be restored, then trust the foolishness of God over the wisdom of the world. Repent, meaning turn to Him and God will remove the soot, the darkness and gloom of worldly thinking. Pray for God to give strength to our heart and mind looking beyond the surface. Take up your cross and follow Him. And my dears we will be restored. We will be in Communion with our Heavenly Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. We will be foolish to the world but wise in the eye of God. To whom is due all glory and honor, Amen.

Stop Focusing on the Tares

Daily Readings: Isaiah 2:5-11; Rom. 8:30-10:4; Matt. 13:24-30
Ընթերցուածքներ` Եսայ. Բ 5-11; Հռոմ. Ը 30- Ժ 4; Մատ. ԺԳ 24-30

In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, Amen!

One day, a young man inherited a beautiful gold antique pocket watch from his beloved grandfather. It was ornate, with a beautiful chain and a heavy weight. The mechanism in the watch was intricate and masterfully crafted. The young man loved his grandfather and now loved this watch and wanted to show his appreciation for it. He was careful with it, making sure it was always properly set so that he could keep perfect time. Because you can’t carry a pocket watch in shorts and t-shirt, the young man even changed his outward attire, so that he could wear the pocket watch on his vest regularly. Everyone would comment on how he had changed; he was on time, he dressed nicely, he behaved maturely, yet, no one knew it was because of the pocket watch. One day, as he passed through a doorway, his watch fell out of his vest pocket. Worried he had damaged the watch, he frantically looked all over and saw no blemishes. Undisturbed he placed it safely back in his pocket and went about his day. Several days later, as he sat on the chair admiring his watch, his finger suddenly caught a small blemish on the chain of his watch. Heartbroken that his watch had been damaged he examined it closer. The scratch was almost invisible to the naked eye and yet, he couldn’t help but focus on it. Every time, he touched the watch, he felt like the scratch was gnawing at him. Eventually, he became disheartened with the watch and stopped carrying it with him, began changing his clothes, and stopped being on time and eventually he started being careless with his behavior. The watch still kept perfect time, but for this young man, his entire focus was on the scratch that no one could see and only he knew was there.

My dears, in today’s Gospel reading, Christ set before us “another parable.” By starting with these words, Christ is telling us to focus. Focus on the important teaching before us; in this case about the Kingdom of Heaven, which he likens again to seeds being planted. While this parable is one many of us know very well, unfortunately, a lot of times when we read our Bibles we lose our focus. The Scriptures are not one dimensional and the more we read, the more we see. For example, in today’s parable many of us focus on the wheat and tares; of how the devil came and planted bad seeds among good seeds. Yet, when they sprouted, the master told the servants to let them grow together and once matured, at the harvest they would be separated. Likewise, God created us good and the devil planted the seeds of sin into our life. On the last day, we will be separated for judgement based on our fruits. Yet, my dears, there is more to this parable that needs our attention because sadly too many of us focus only the surface level; we focus too much on the bad people.

In the same way the young man focused on the scratch and grew in contempt for the watch, likewise, we tend to see the bad things in this world, the darkness, and we begin to judge it. Or perhaps in our own lives, we see our addictions, our struggles, our shortcomings, and begin to think that what’s the point, we’re just going to fail. Yet, my dears, God created all of us for good. As we read in Psalm 139:14, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” We are all created in God’s image and likeness far more ornate and beautiful than anything else, even the most beautiful pocket watches with all its intricate mechanisms. While yes, we acknowledge that sin has polluted the world, and Scripture teaches us this, yet, our focus should not be on the negative, but on the how and why my dears.

In v. 25 we read, “but while men slept, his enemy came and sowed tares among the wheat and went his way.” These men are us; while we, humanity slept, the enemy came. This isn’t saying don’t sleep or bad things will happen, rather, those who “slept” my dears, are those who become careless, lazy, and indifferent to God. It is here my dears, that we need to focus. Not on the evil of others, not only on our own struggles but on what kind of life we live that has made room for the enemy to penetrate our hearts and minds, to plant seeds of fear, doubt and sin. What Christ is speaking about here is not lack of energy, but spiritual laziness and carelessness: acedia, slothfulness. Our Church Father’s remind us that this laziness is when we have no prayer in our life, no active growth in faith; when our eyes seek others rather than look up towards Heaven. We work hard, we are devoted to family, etc. yet, spiritual laziness and indifference is when God becomes secondary.

There is a story about St. Anthony, the Great Dessert Father, who when struggling with slothfulness cried out to God in prayer, how could he overcome his laziness. All of a sudden, he saw a man just like himself, a little distance from him who sat down to work. St. Anthony watched the man work for several minutes when suddenly, the man stood up from his work, knelt for a moment and began to pray. Just has quickly as he had stopped to work and pray, he again sat down to work. The great saint watched this man do this every few minutes, when he realized God was telling him, “Do this, and you shall be saved.” This doesn’t mean my dears that while we work in our office, or in class, or driving the car, we need to stop every few minutes and pray. Perhaps for some of us it does. Yet, for all of us, we need to be honest with our selves, how much energy, and time, strength and hope do we place in our prayers, in reading Holy Scriptures, or the words of the Fathers? How much of our focus is on God vs. on work, and the material world, or on the faults, the scratches, the blemishes in our life that blind us to the love of God? Even when coming to Church is our focus on Him, His Word, or on everyone and everything else?

My dears, when we become lazy and indifferent in our faith, overtime the enemy, Satan will penetrate our heart and mind with seeds of sin. We will judge the world, be filled with contempt and sorrow. Those seeds will impact how we behave, how we think, how we live and eventually who we are. When we live in faith, we change, the world around us is changed. If a watch changed the man and his behavior, imagine how faith can change and transform us. Pray daily, purposefully and regularly. God our Heavenly Father does not leave us but stays with us. The master gardener, Christ Jesus came to save us from those evil seeds. Therefore, pray that the Holy Spirit will keep us alert and vigilant, protected and guarded not just physically but spiritually, emotionally and mentally from all harm. And by the grace and love of God, only the good seeds, only good fruits will flourish in us, through us and for us. Glory to God for all, Amen.

Arrogant Christianity

Daily Readings: Isaiah 1:21-31; Rom 7:25-8:11, Mt. 12:38-45
Ընթերցուածքներ` Եսայ. Ա 21-31; Հռոմ. Է 25- Ը 11; Մատ. ԺԲ 38-45

In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, Amen!

As Christian’s we are very arrogant; We are arrogant, and audacious. Yes, this may be true of people who are not Christian as well, but as Christians we are especially seen as arrogant. Why though? I remember the first time as a teenager I had to appear before a judge in a courtroom. I had to dress a certain way and was not allowed to speak unless spoken t and when I did speak, my words had to be weighed and carefully chosen. I’ll be honest, even though I hadn’t done anything wrong, I was in a place where I was answering to a higher authority so, there was a sense of fear, awe, and reverence for the judge. The judge was someone who had the power to free me, exonerate me, punish me and question me. Therefore, it was right that I felt that sense of fear. Likewise, in life there are other people who hold a certain level of authority that must be honored and respected such as a police officer, a doctor, a priest, a teacher, a parent, or someone in our life that has more experience than us. We respect them not because they are perfect but because we recognize the authority that has been entrusted to them. There is fear in that authority, there is respect, there may even be admiration.

Yet, we as Christian’s are very arrogant when it come so the ultimate authority. We are arrogant not because we don’t respect others but because we claim to believe in God, and even more than believe, we relate. We believe in God, recognizing His greatness, and authority and we are taught to have a sense of fear and awe out of recognizing that authority. “Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.” (Ecclesiastes 12:13) We also declare God as our Lord. We recognize the authorship, as supreme ruler, master, and possessor of all creation. That is why we go to Him to be illuminated and grow and as Scripture teaches us “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.” (Prov. 1) Yet, as Christians we also claim God as our Heavenly Father. And it is for this reason my dears, that we are arrogant. To refer to God as God, we are declaring our belief in His authority; to refer to God as our Lord, we declare our submission to His authority; yet, to call God “father” is to speak with such intimacy that one must either be arrogant or more?

In the Divine Liturgy, (p. 40) the priest prays, “God of truth and Father of mercy, we thank you, who have exalted our nature, condemned as we were, above that of the blessed patriarchs; for you were called God to them, whereas in compassion you have been pleased to be named Father to us…” You see in Judaism, prayer to God acknowledged that God is a Lord, that God is omnipotent, unapproachable, unknowable and must be feared. In Judaism when one would pray to God, they would refer to their forefathers, “God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob…” Yet, through God the Son Christ Jesus, that relationship, that communion with God for us changed. We became no longer a distant creation, or a stranger that feared God or was ashamed because of our brokenness and our sinfulness, but rather, we became the children of God.

It is here that we must reflect, how much audacity do we have to call God our Father? Because to be a Christian my dears is to be courageous in this way. A courage we receive through God the Holy Spirit, who illuminates us to see not God the Father not as a distant power, or as only a Lord, and King but to see us as His children and Him as our compassionate Father. That is why the prayer in the Badarak continues, “…And now, O Lord, we beseech you, make the grace of so new and precious a naming of yourself shine forth and flourish day by day in your holy Church And grant us to open our mouths with a cry of bold voice, to call upon you, O heavenly Father, to sing and say…” To be a Christian therefore begins with a commanding voice to claim God as our Father and us as His children. This is something the world will see and call us arrogant for. Who are we to be that intimate with God? What makes us special?

It is the love of God my dears that gives us that authority, give us the claim to be His children. A love we are given through God the Son Jesus Christ, who came and died on the Cross for us, not because we are perfect but because He loves us in the same way our earthly fathers would give of themselves for their children. Yet, there is another layer to this relationship my dears. If appearing before a judge or someone of higher authority demands of us a level of preparation and respect, perhaps we need to ask, what is required of us as a child of God? What is more arrogant, calling God our Heavenly Father or denying that truth as His children through the way we live? There is nothing a child must do to earn the love of their father. A father (and mother) will do everything and anything for their child to be better than them, to have more than them. Yet, as children when we grow up, we begin to mature and recognize that no matter where we end up in life, it was only because of the love our parents we had the opportunities that we had.

Likewise, though we are courageous to say God is our Father, we must be humble my dear brothers and sisters, as His children, to live as He commands, no longer out of fear but as a reflection of His love. To recognize that God is no longer merely a judge who will condemn us for our sins, but is like a father, who embraces us when we fall, defends us when we are hurt, loves, guides, and provides us. To call God as our Father is to also see ourselves as His beloved child; to be as our Father in Heaven is. It is this truth gives us courage; it is the recognition at being a beloved child of God, His love that sees not our stain but removes our sinfulness, and that love that sees our darkness, our shortcomings, our real arrogance, our hatred, our pridefulness, our addictions, our failures and yet, does not look with disappointment but stretches out His hand to bring us back into Communion with Him. And as our response to that love, we are called to repent, to turn to Him, to live, pray, ask, learn and be the children we were created to be.

So that one day, when we stand before the Judgement seat, we will not be afraid, but our Lord, our God, our Heavenly Father will embrace us, heal us, and raise us to life through His merciful love. A love that the world will say makes us arrogant and audacious. Yet, a love that is freely given to all creation, and which opens our mouth, with a courageous cry of our bold voice, to call upon our Heavenly Father and say, “Hayr Mer”. Amen!

What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?

Daily Readings: Isaiah 1:2-15; Rom 6:12-23, Mt. 12:1-8
Ընթերցուածքներ` Եսայ. Ա 2-15; Հռոմ. Զ 12-23; Մատ. ԺԲ 1-8

In the Name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, Amen!

As children grow up, we always like to ask them, what do you want to do when you grow up? Of course, no one asks us as adults what do we want to do with our life because when we ask this, we mean what job, career path, or even educational journey would the child like to pursue in their adult life. As a child, I apparently had said I wanted to be the king of Armenia, yet, as I grew up, I changed this from being a priest like my father, to being a marine biologist, lawyer, actor, singer, mobster, football player, teacher, cook, to eventually somehow, recognizing that God is calling me to priesthood. I’m sure this trajectory is similar to all of us. Even in college, most students change their majors or go back after graduation and realize what they learned is not what they like and so they go on a different career path. In this journey of career searching, we also question what is our purpose in life? Especially if we have faith, we will ask what does God want me to do?

My dears, God does not decide what we do; Not even priesthood is decided by God, in that priesthood is not a job, it is a calling; it is a specific response to do the Will of God in this life we live through service. This calling however, is not limited to the physical sacramental office of the priesthood. God calls all of us – but to what? In Rom. 6, St. Paul writes, “Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts. And do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God. For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace.” This means my dears, what we do as a career, where we go to school, where we live, what language we speak, what we wear, all the things we daily use to place value, purpose and importance on our life pale in comparison to what God wants for us and of us.

God created humanity in His image and likeness and God gave humanity dominion over the rest of the created world. Dominion not to abuse it, hurt it, pervert it, and fill it with sin. But dominion as in responsibility, an opportunity to participate in His work of creation. Yet, let us for a moment be honest with ourselves, parents think about your children, or as adults think about your day to day, how much time, energy and focus do we utilize on participating in Gods creation? Do we understand what this means? How devoted are we the material vs. our the strengthening of our faith in God? As a parent, we will sit with our children to help them with homework, raise them to be successful in school. We make sure they are fed with proper nutrition, bathed to be clean, clothed in proper attire – yet, do we sit with our children and pray or talk about Christ? Do we bring them to Church and feed their faith? Do we help wash them of their sinfulness and clothe them in the knowledge and love through the Holy Spirit? As young men and women, we go on apps, go to social events, perhaps Church events, we go on dates, to find and build relationships, we spend time with likeminded people, forming lifelong friendships – yet, what do we do, what do we use to build up our eternal relationship, our Communion with God the Father? We look for meaning and purpose in our jobs, at the expense of our physical and mental health we sacrifice to be successful in our careers, for the bonus, for that recognition, for tenure and so forth – yet, what about our spiritual health?

Of course, growing up and wanting to do something we love is not wrong, taking care of our children is our responsibility, building relationships is something we all need, but we need to ask where do we find our value and our purpose? This isn’t a question merely for self-discovery, but it also impacts our view of others. If our physical appearance, our jobs, our education, our relationships determine value and importance, than others who fall short of this standard we have set, also fall short in our heart and mind in value. We begin to judge them and look down.

In the Gospel today, the Pharisees rebuke Jesus and His disciple for plucking grain and eating on the Sabbath. The Pharisees saw value not in the personhood of the Disciples but in their actions, which was clearly breaking the law. Yet, Christ reminds them and us, that the God requires “mercy and not sacrifice.” This doesn’t negate the wrongfulness of the breaking of Sabbath, but it tells the Pharisees, you are hypocrites in your judgement because you yourself of breaking the Sabbath not by physical labor but by the hatred of your heart. Likewise, us my dears. If someone is living in sin, if someone is wasteful of their time, and talent, if someone is ignorant, arrogant, hateful, spiteful, and hurtful; if someone is not living in faith or breaking the rules, how do we approach them? If someone keeps failing at their job or school, as a parent, in their relationships do we see them as lesser? If someone doesn’t dress like we dress, act, speak, look the way we think is best, do we see them as a failure? Do we devalue them, or do we pray for them, help them if we can with love and kindness because they are a child of God?

St. Nektarious of Aegine says, “A Christian must be courteous to all. His words and deeds should breathe with the grace of the Holy Spirit, which abides in his soul, so that in this way he might glorify the name of God. He who regulates all of his speech also regulates all of his actions. He who keeps watch over the words he is about say also keeps watch over the deeds he intends to do, and he never goes out of the bounds good and benevolent conduct. The graceful speech of a Christian is characterized by delicateness and politeness. This fact, born of love, produces peace and joy. On the other hand, boorishness gives birth to hatred, enmity, affliction, competitiveness, disorder and wars.” In other words my dears, yes, as Christian’s it is our place to call out right from wrong, but to do so as God does, with mercy, and love. To love the sinner not the sin, to guide the lost towards light not blind them with arrogance. To recognize our value and the value of others is not in what we grow up to do, what we struggle with, what we look like, what we fail or succeed at. Our value, everyone’s value, is the love of God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, in whose image and likeness we are all created in.

And in that likeness, we must grow to be as He is. To be as God is begins with separating ourselves from sin, from darkness, from the passions and lies of this world such as pride, anger, fear, hatred, and so forth. To be as He is means to raise children in wisdom and love; to be compassionate and merciful regardless of our jobs or schooling; to be patient and with self-control in our relationships. To be as He is, is to be in Holy Communion with God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit everyday, in all we do. Yet, to be as God is, to be in Communion with God, we need to come to God in humility and repentance.

Therefore, come in humility and compassion! Come to Church to grow in faith; open the Holy Scriptures, ask questions to the priest, feed your spiritual hunger, step out these doors and recognize that our value, our purpose can be lived out every day when we answer the call from God to be as He is. So that when someone asks, what do we want to be when we grow up, regardless of our age or profession we will all say, I want to be a Christian, a beloved child of God. My dears, what is our purpose? Where is our value? What do we want to be when we grow up by faith? Amen!

Out of the Pit and Into What?

Daily Readings: Zech. 3:7-4:9; Heb.9:1-10; John 10:22-30
Ընթերցուածքներ` Զաք. Գ 7-Դ 9; Եբր. Թ 1-10; Յով. Ժ 22-30

In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, Amen!

The name of our Church and many other Armenian Churches is St. Gregory the Illuminator. Yet, why are many of our Churches named after him? St. Gregory, the same as all our saints, lived a life of faithfulness in times of difficulty. He had a past, he had sins, and challenges, yet, by trusting God through those challenges, he did the work of God and today serves as an example to each of us not just in name but through the life he lived. We of how St. Gregory served in the royal courts, under King Trdat in the 4^th century. However because of his devotion to God, he eventually was imprisoned and thrown into a pit, khor virap, where he was left to die in darkness alongside snakes and scorpions, where miraculously Gregory survived for 13 years. While in the pit, King Trdat, persecuted many other Christian’s including the virgin saints Hripsime and Gayane and their companions. After martyring them, the king went mad and became like a wild beast. The kings sister, St. Khosrovidukht, who had secretly converted to Christianity, had a recurring dream revealing that only St. Gregory could heal the king. With no other choice, the king’s officials pulled Gregory out of the pit, and the historian Agathangelos reports that the moment St. Gregory was pulled out of the pit, the pains of the king subsided. Through prayer, teaching for 40 days, and “rebirth” King Trdat accepted Christ and was fully restored and healed. Along with him, the entire royal courts were baptized, and Christianity was declared the state religion of the Kingdom of Armenia in 301 AD, making Armenia the first nation to adopt Christianity as it’s official religion.

What else did St. Gregory do following these events? Yesterday, (June 6) the Armenian Church celebrated the feast of St. Gregory’s removal from the pit, what we just spoke about. The Sunday following this day, the Armenian Church celebrates the Feast of Holy Etchmiadzin, the building of our Holy Mother Cathedral in 303 AD. After St. Gregory baptized the king, he saw a vision of Christ Jesus descending from Heaven with a gold hammer and showing where the Cathedral, the birthplace of our faith would be built. So why is this so important my dears? Isn’t this all just history?

Each of us are on a walk of faith my dears! Along that journey, we will have pitfalls. Either by our own making or by the hardships of life, we will fall into temptation, doubt, depression, anxiety, uncertainty, despair, confusion, loss, addiction and darkness. We all have scars that we look back on and remember painfully what we have gone through. As Christian’s we are taught and we believe that no pit, no darkness, not even the tomb can separate us from the love of God, when we seek Him. You see St. Gregory even though he was left to die by the king whom he had served for many years, someone he called his friend, even though he was left in the darkness by the world, he remained prayerful and faithful. God protected him from the scorpions, serpents, the heat, and elements while he was imprisoned. Even while in the pit, St. Gregory was not abandoned by God.

This teaches us my dears, that even if in life we fall into darkness, even if we have sinned, and are broken, God our Heavenly Father, will not abandon us. Christ enters the tomb for us; Christ enters our darkness to help us out. What we need to ask my dears, is when we finally faithfully come out of the darkness and struggles, what then? Do we return to the life that led to the pit in the first place or do we become the tool that God uses to build his Church, to share His love of hope and mercy to others who are struggling? To have faith my dears, is to do the work of God not for self-gain but for sharing of His love; To be a Christian is to be transformed and to be a cause for transformation for the world to witness the power of God. That is why God has given us the Holy Church, “the Altar of Light” which shines upon us as St. Gregory teaches. The Church with her clergy, the sacraments, the teachings all given to us to illuminate us and transform us.

One day, 2 men are walking on a dirt road, and they come by a hole with a fire burning inside. They look and see that there is a snake caught in the fire. One of the men pulls the snake out of the fire to help it, but immediately the serpent bites him and falls back into the fire. Again, the man tries to help, but the serpent bites again and falls back into the pit. The third time that man attempts to pull the snake out of the pit, yet again he is bitten and the snake falls into the pit and burns to death. The 2^nd man asks him, “why did you keep trying to help the snake, didn’t you see it kept biting you?” And the man replied, “it is in the nature of the serpent to bite, but it is my nature to help.” In this story my dears, we learn that God sends people, prophets, teachers, parents, friends, a community through the Holy Church, to help us out of life’s pits. Yet, unless we are willing to be transformed and changed, we will fall back into the pit. Unless we are changed my dears, we will fall back into the pit of hopelessness and fear. Yet, when with humility, prayerfulness, if we ask God to help change us, to save us from darkness, when we respond in faith, God will transform us and empower us to build not merely physical Churches but to be the Church, an Altar of light, to become a reflection of God’s divine love and a cause to help others.

Does this mean we will never struggle again? No, my dears! St. Gregory when he came out of the pit, all his life still had the physical scars of his torture, yet, he recognized that remaining faithful and obedient, God can use us, use our past to teach others, to build and grow in Communion towards Him. That is why the Prophet Zechariah teaches us, “the Lord Almighty had said: ‘If you obey my laws and perform the duties I have assigned you, then you will continue to be in charge of my Temple and its courts, and I will hear your prayers, just as I hear the prayers of the angels who are in my presence.’” If we remain faithful my dears, God will entrust us to do His work, to share His love, His Gospel. We will be a witness of what it is we say we believe in the Church. That God does not abandon us to our darkness; that by the Holy Spirit we are illuminated to the truth that God the Son, Jesus Christ, enters our darkness, and saves us from the pit of death.

That is why St. Gregory and all our saints are so loved because they teach us that though we all have a past, with God we all have a future. A future of healing, of love, of hopefulness, of compassion, mercy, and growth. Pray, learn, come to Church with a desire to be transformed. Let go of pride, anger, hatred, arrogance and in humility ask God to enter our darkness to lift us out. Come to Church to be changed not to change the Church which is the home, our Holy Mother and the Bride of Christ. For it is only by the grace and love of God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, that not only we will be transformed, but the world will see us Christians as the saints we are all called to be, the cloud of witness, the Holy Church through which all creation gives glory to Him, Amen.

Me For Me or God Through Me?

Daily Readings: 2 Kings 2:1-15; James 5:16-20; Luke 4:25-30
Ընթերցուածքներ` Դ Թագ. Բ 1-15; Յակ. Ե 16-20; Ղուկ. Դ 25-30

In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, Amen!

An angry man, was driving down the highway, when all of a sudden his phone rang. He ignored it, and again it rang. He ignored it again until, finally he answered the phone snapping, “what? I’m driving, I can’t talk now!” Frantic, the voice of his wife on the other said, “Where are you? Be careful!” Why, what’s going on? he answered. “I just heard that there’s a car driving on the wrong side of the highway.” The husband said, “one car? You should see, all of them are on the wrong side.” My dears, how often is it that when someone points out our faults, our mistakes, our first instinct is to jump into defense rather than reflection? That the fault is not in us but in everyone else.

Christ while preaching in the synagogue gives the example of the Prophet Elijah and of how in times of famine and difficulty God sent the Prophet to a widow who was not a Jew, not a part of the community; or of how the Prophet brought healing to the Syrian, not the Jewish people because of the disobedience and faithlessness of the Jews at the time. The response? (vv.28-29) “So all those in the synagogue, when they heard these things, were filled with wrath, and rose up and thrust Him out of the city…” The Jews felt angry that Jesus was calling them out for their faithlessness, their sinfulness. How many of us are guilty of this as well my dears? Perhaps we live lives and make choices that don’t align with what the Scriptures teach us, with what the Church asks of us. Politically, socially, in our relationships, in our day to day, we live in such a way that is unacceptable or hurtful when compared to what is taught in our Christian faith. Our reaction when we’re called out is often to be filled with anger and desire to throw Christ out of our lives, fabricate a false version of Jesus Christ leaving us momentarily satisfied but broken in the long term.

Yet, my dears, to be a Christian begins from self-examination and reflection. To be a Christian is to walk as Christ walked, grow in God’s likeness, be a light in darkness. To be a Christian is to ask not do people accept me for me, but rather, do people accept God through me. When we read our Holy Scriptures, when the priest or the teachings in the Church challenge us, or call us out, speak out against something we do, believe or choose to live by, we need to ask with wisdom and prayer, why do we feel this way? If we know and believe that God loves us, if we truly believe that God is our Heavenly Father, then we need to recognize that His love is going to challenge us to be better, stronger, and wiser. Not because we are always wrong, not because we are devalued but rather because God knows our full potential and provides the best for us.

In seminary, we had an English teacher who would give us daily assignments. One of those daily tasks was dictations – where he would read out loud and we would copy down what he said. Following his dictation, we were told to rewrite his story in our own words. Every time, no matter what we wrote, our pages would come back with red pen marks with instructions of how we could rewrite it better. One day, a classmate of mine decided he would just hand in exactly what was dictated without any further changes. When he received his notebook back, it was again covered in red pen marks with instructions on how we could reword it better. This wasn’t because our teacher disliked us, but because our teacher wanted us to live up to our full potential, beyond what we recognized.

Truthfully, as a student all we wanted to do was get the task done, get the grade and leave the classroom to do what we wanted. As Christian’s we act this way as well; all we want is to be happy, to “do the right thing” to somehow satisfy God and then leave Church or “leave our faith” to do what we want, what we think is best for us. In the process we hurt ourselves; we are left angry, dissatisfied, hurt and unsure. Yet, our Heavenly Father desires more for us and of us. God corrects us out of love and teaches us that He already knows what is best for us, if we would only remain faithful and obedient to His Will. This obedience my dears, starts with reflection and prayer!

In James we read, “Confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed.” Confession, which is one of the Holy Sacraments of the Church, which is done privately to God, with the aid of the priest in the Church is that self-reflection of our challenges, of our struggles, and the choices we make that tell us we are on the wrong “side of the highway.” To confess is to be transparent; to confess is to verbalize and seek is God in our actions and choices. Is God in our relationships, is God in our addiction, in the way we treat our bodies, in the way we dress, in the way we live. If God is not, how can we change in order not to bring God into our choices but for us to enter God’s love. Confession is a reflection of seeing those red marks in our life not as condemnation but as correction for us to live to our full potential; asking what needs to change and how can we change so that God’s fullness is seen through us. Inner reflection and acceptance that the darkness of this world does not define us, our faults to break us, but the love of God our Heavenly Father is what saves us.

This reflection leads to prayer my dears. A thankfulness for God’s love, gratefulness for another day to grow. Prayer is asking for help to be transformed in heart and mind to live according to His Will. Prayer is openness of our heart; prayer not as laundry list of things we want transactionally from God but prayer as an openness to listen to learn; learning as we wait. When we pray and we wait for God to answer, what do we become? What do we become when we’re waiting? We become waiters! When a waiter is waiting on a table, what do they do? They serve! A waiter serves. When we pray with openness we wait to learn from God by serving. Serving each other in prayer and love. Yet, how many of us are willing to be this open? How many of us are ready to serve rather than be served? How many of us listen with this openness of learning? How many of us are ready to come and confess seeking transformation? Verses how many of us instead react with anger to the challenges, the Cross that God places before us?

To be a Christian is not easy. It is to face challenges from outside and inside. If we come to Church all our life and we never feel challenged, if we read the Scriptures and never feel uncomfortable when we reflect on our life, if we have conversations with our priest and don’t feel pushed to grow, than we have failed. For the way of our faith is through the Cross. Yet, it does not end with the Cross for through the Cross of Christ we are led to the empty tomb. My dears, God our Heavenly Father loves each and every one of us, regardless of how we look, how we act, what we choose. Even if we deny Him, He loves us and waits for us to turn back to Him. It is we who must, therefore, respond to that love, desiring to be transformed and changed. Christ Jesus by His love and grace has already broken the chain of sin, it is we who respond in faithfulness by turning to Him and not chaining ourselves back to our passions, to this world and the material darkness. The Holy Spirit comes and illuminates our hearts and mind, teaches us with wisdom, and compassion. It is we who respond by walking in faith, reading our Holy Scriptures, praying with sincerity, sobriety and reflecting the love of God. If we truly are faithful Christian’s, children of our Lord, we need to ask do we want people to accept me for me or, do will my life be a cause for others to accept God through me? This is a challenge given to us all, Amen!

Blinded to What Really Matters

Daily Readings: Acts 20:17-38; 1 John 3:2-6; John 9:39-10:10
Ընթերցուածքներ` Գործ. Ի 17-38; Ա Յով. Գ 2-6; Յով. Թ39 – Ժ10

Christ is Resurrected from the Dead – Blessed Is the Resurrection of Christ
Քրիստոս Յարեաւ ի Մեռելոց – Օրհնեալ է Յարութիւնն Քրիստոսի

In the Name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, Amen!

In 2001, Alex Zanardi a famous Italian world class driver, was involved a horrific accident that resulted in the loss of both his legs. He was on top of the world, with accolades, trophies and success, heights that many aspire to but very few achieve. Until it all stopped; He lost control, and his car swerved across a grassy area and onto the track crashing into a fellow driver going 200 mph. In a moment, Alex lost his ability to make a living, to work, to enjoy life. What value he brought into the world disappeared in that split second. Though he lived, his recovery was painful as he experienced periods of deep depression even while working towards rehabilitation. Even as he looked for tools to make a transition back to some form of normality, he struggled finding properly fitting prosthetics. What value did Alex have in this world after losing so much?

My dears, so many of us place such high value on our physical abilities or inabilities, on our appearance, on what we have and do, compared to what God calls us to. Think about how and when we pray? We ask for healing over physical ailments, we ask for success and achievements in material endeavors and plans, we pray for peace, love and fulfillment in ways defined by the world. While there is nothing wrong with praying to be healthy, praying to find peace, love, and hope in our day to day, working and asking for success, yet is this where our value lies? Christ did not die for us so that our value would be determined by those things. In the same way, a parent loves their child regardless of what they achieve in life, likewise our value as the children of God is not limited to what we wear, or what we achieve. That is why St. John addresses us as, “Beloved, now we are children of God…” (v.2) Children to whom, by the grace and love of God through Jesus Christ, our true self and what that means is revealed. Which is why, St. John continues, “it has not yet been revealed what we shall be, but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is.” See Him and be seen. Know God and see Him in ourselves and others.

Yet, so many of us, still choose to not see, choose to place our value and limit ourselves to what the world sees as important. And so Christ tells the Pharisees that, “For judgment I have come into this world, that those who do not see may see, and that those who see may be made blind.’ Then some of the Pharisees who were with Him heard these words, and said to Him, ‘Are we blind also?’” The Pharisees are thinking like us, they are seeing their value in their physical ability of blindness. They are associating physical health, or material status as something far for valuable because for the Jewish people, any disability or failure was seen as a form of “punishment from God.” That is why a few verses back, in Jn. 9 the Disciples asked Jesus, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” In fact, it is right after this miracle of the blind man being healed that the Pharisees question Jesus about physical blindness. No, the Pharisees may have not been physically blind, yet, because they lived according to the flesh, having misplaced their trust, choosing sin of pride, and arrogance, Jesus is saying they were blind to the truth; they chose to be blind.

My dears, God doesn’t punish us with sickness. God doesn’t allow hurt, darkness and pain in our life because we sin. And God does not limit our value more or less, based on our abilities, disabilities, achievements and failures. Yes, those things exist in our life. Sickness, failure, darkness, addiction are a painful consequence of the sin that has polluted the creation of God. Yet, despite all that poison God still loves us all. Despite a rebellious child, a true parent continues to love. And God the Father, in His Divine love for us sent His Son Jesus Christ to suffer all that darkness and failure, to be devalued according to this world. Not abandoning Him, God also raised Christ from the tomb defeating the power of sin. And God did so to reveal also to us, that we are also His beloved children, and He will raise us out of our failure, our brokenness and darkness. Christ Jesus opens not just our physical eyes but heals our spiritual blindness from the lies of this world. Christ removes not just the stone that covered the tomb to reveal the truth of the resurrection inside, but removes the stones that cover our eyes to reveal our value.

Just as our value is not limited to our physical healing, likewise healing, what God offers is not about physical healing rather, He opens our heart and illuminates our spirit. Reminding us not to be ashamed of our failure, of our hurt, of our blindness. Reminding us to be ashamed of choosing sin and remaining in blindness; ashamed of the lies we tell ourselves, our pride, our arrogance and hatefulness. Ashamed and cautious, not about what we physically look like but of how we choose to live apart from God. For we say we believe in God yet, we don’t know the Holy Scriptures, we don’t pray honestly, we don’t love, we don’t forgive, we don’t see – and so we remain spiritually blinded. Yet, despite all this, God reminds us ultimately that in humility His love is revealed for us not determined by those external things but the internal – the image and likeness we bare. And that we have a chance every day to repent, to turn to Him and ask to be healed of our blindness, to see His love.

Alex Zanardi, eventually changed. No, life did not get easier, no he did not get his legs back, he had to change his life, but he did not allow his limitations to be a limitation on the strength of his spirit. He joked about how the awkward prosthetic made him feel taller, or that he no longer worried about smelly feet or washing his socks. Eventually Alex went back to racing, driving a modified race car. To be a positive change, Alex discovered, the loss of his feet made room for the strength of his hands. He learned the difficult sport of handcycling, a three-wheeled bike that uses hand cranks instead of foot pedals. In 2011, he won the handcycle division of the New York City Marathon and continued on to win two gold medals and a silver medal at both the 2012 Paralympics in London and the 2016 Paralympics in Rio de Janeiro. He did not allow his limitations to blind him to his true value, no matter what the world said.

My dears, no matter what the world says about us, regardless of our limitations, our sickness, our shortcomings, regardless of our achievements, physical attributes, money and statues – our value is not limited nor determined by those things. God loves us all and God desires to heal us all, to be whole and holy. Let go of the hate; let go of the pride; let go of what the world tells us is important and trust in God. Repent and return to His love. Learn the Scriptures, come to Church with questions, live in Communion seeking true healing, and our spiritual blindness will be lifted. Yes, we may need to change how we live, how we act, how we dress, and so forth and this may be difficult. Rehabilitation and repentance often are. Yet, when we let go, we open ourselves to more. We open our hands to do the work of God, to be made whole and Holy. We open our heart and mind, to recognize love and mercy. We open our eyes and see the Risen Lord Jesus Christ, with whom we too are risen out of darkness and blindness. By the grace of the Holy Spirit, may our eyes be opened to His love, so that we will see and recognize that we are the beloved children of our Heavenly Father, to whom with the Son and Holy Spirit is due glory now and forever, Amen!

Failure to Finish

Christ is Resurrected from the Dead – Blessed Is the Resurrection of Christ
Քրիստոս Յարեաւ ի Մեռելոց – Օրհնեալ է Յարութիւնն Քրիստոսի

In the Name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, Amen.

Mara had a talent for beginnings. She enjoyed starting new endeavors—a new job, a new habit, a new version of herself—with a kind of electric hope that made people believe in her instantly. The problem was that she also had a talent to always fail. Somewhere between the excitement of starting and the satisfaction of finishing, things fell apart. Her first business idea collapsed in three months. She decided to go back to school to be better prepared, but she struggled to understand the subject matter and so she flunked out. She met the love of her life, got married and began getting ready to start a family. Yet, as quickly as she began, her marriage sadly ended in divorce. She again attempted to start anew. This time she worked harder, slept less, sacrificed more. When she failed again, it didn’t just feel like bad luck, she truly began to feel like failure. Though she tried to laugh it off, she began to tell herself, “You’re just not built for success. You will always fail.” She replayed it in her mind so much, it sounded like truth. Failure had taken a lot from her. One night, without announcing it to anyone, Mara started again. When things started going wrong, she didn’t spiral; she adjusted. When she felt the urge to quit, she waited. The difference wasn’t that she stopped failing; She failed constantly. Ideas didn’t land, people said no, progress stalled. There were moments, that that voice of her past crept back telling her to give up because she would fail. But while in the past doubt caused fear, now Mara saw failure as an opportunity and not a verdict. She wasn’t defined by doubt or questions or uncertainty. Then, one day, she noticed something strange! Things were working. Not perfectly, not effortlessly but they worked. When people asked her how she finally succeeded, Mara even failed to answer that because it wasn’t that she became more talented, or that she got lucky. The biggest difference was that she stopped treating failure like the end of the story. She had failed enough times to realize something important: Failure doesn’t mean you’re done. It just means you’re still in the middle. And the middle, as it turns out, is where almost everything important happens.

My dear brothers and sisters, no one likes to fail. No one starts a diet with thoughts of failing, no one dates or gets married with fear of divorce, no one studies with expectations of flunking out, no one starts with belief they’ll fail. Yet, so many of us listen to that voice of failure, we devalue ourselves, we define who we are focusing on the failures. We become disheartened and feel like giving up. This is especially true with our faith my dears. We try to remain faithful, we try to be forgiving, we try to be prayerful and yet, even with our faith we like a failure the moment we begin to struggle or doubt. And yet, Holy Scripture teaches us, Prov. 24:16 “for though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again, but the wicked stumble when calamity strikes.” The righteous fall seven time. Meaning those who try to remain faithful, prayerful, those who strive to succeed fail not once, not twice but multiple times. Yet, they rise again. They rise not through mere human efforts, nor strength, nor talent.

Remember Mara when asked how she succeeded admitted her talents, or smarts, or skills had not changed. What raises us my dears is our trust and love in our Lord; recognizing that our sin is not the end when through Christ Jesus we live. See how the proverbs says, the “wicked stumble when calamity strikes.” The wicked my dears are the arrogant, the prideful, those who look to blame others, and the world. The wicked are those who are unrepentant, who believe they are sinless. As we read in 1 John 1:8 “If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.” The truth is that failure does not define us; our darkness, our addiction, our mistakes, our brokenness, our sin does not define us; it is not the end!

Christ defines us; the love of God, who through grace and mercy forgives us of our sins through His death and resurrection raises us out of failure, renews us as righteous, lifts us out even out of our tombs. It is for this reason that St. Anthony of Padua teaches us that “Apart from the Cross, there is no other ladder.” A ladder to get back up, a ladder to lean on, a ladder to hold on to when our strength has failed. We need take hold of that ladder, take hold of the Cross and use it to get back up. Trust in not our strengths or weakness but in God. Yes, we might feel discouraged when we fail, yes, we can doubt and worry. Yet, “A drop of prayer is worth more than a sea of worry” – St. Nikolaj Velimirovic. In the face of our failures, we have an opportunity to renew our trust, confess, repent and start again, start with a simple prayer. The cross – in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

This is prayer; it is a symbol of us placing our trust in God; it is a shield that defends us against evil. It is victimhood transformed into victory. Pray my dears. Come to Church with a thirst and hunger to be filled with love, compassion, mercy. Failure is not the end; death is not the end; sin does not define us. Bring worry, doubt, fear and failure and lay it before the Holy Altar. Take hold of the Cross, and we know, that as Christ has been raised, we will be raised. We will be raised and renewed in love, hope and mercy to be an example for others to see and recognize that through God, even multiple failure, even the darkest of pains, has no power over the love and of our Lord. By the Grace of the Holy Spirit, see and hold on to the Cross and we will be lifted up to proclaim in word and in deed, Christ is Risen, Amen!